How To Tell If It’s Been Too Long Since You Were Last At The Gym

1.) All the weight machines in the “Express Fitness” area have been rearranged and you have no idea where anything is.


2.) The city has added a cement divider to the road in front of the driveway to your gym, and you almost run it over when you attempt to turn in to the parking lot.


3.) You have to look up the combination to your lock, so you can get into your locker.


4.) You have to stop for “breathers” during a power set that previously you were able to just blow right through.


5.) You are not able to move, or even breathe deeply the next morning because your muscles are so sore.


Yes, it has been way to long since I was last at the gym, but the best way to tell if you are a member of a great gym, they remember your name even though you haven’t been there since October. I love the counter girls at my gym. They are encouraging, and don’t lay a guilt trip on you for not coming in for two months.


Until next time…

Almost Made It, Almost…

So, here it is, the 12th of January, and I don’t think I’ve been to the gym in like two months, possibly three. Shhh, don’t tell my husband or my Mum. They think I’ve been going all this time. In August, I was so stoked for M to start school because I would have so much time to work out, and then write, and so far I haven’t done much of either.

Sure in November I did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month-the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days) and I won, but I didn’t go to the gym even once, so that was a major fail. But even before November, I was out of the habit of working out every day. I had such grand plans. I was going to get up when M and R got up and while R took M off to school, I would go off to the gym, sweat my way to a fitter more toned self, and just generally be awesome at the whole fit SAHM writer thing. Uh, yeah, that’s not how it’s worked out so far. My workouts were patchy at best in September, even sparser in October, and by the first of November, I hadn’t been to the gym in at least a week, possibly two.

The New Year has come ‘round again, and with so many making their resolutions to get fit, lose weight, find a vampire boyfriend, survive the impending zombie attack, etc., I was feeling the guilt of the days, weeks, and months of lying pressing on my shoulders, the straining waistband of my pants pressing on my gut, when I started wondering if I could dig out all my old worn out yoga pants and start wearing them again without anyone noticing. Then I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and I looked away as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to see what I had done to myself.

In two short months, I had nullified all the hard work I put in over the previous six. I was ashamed of myself, and decided that Monday was going to be the day. M was back to school after winter break, and I had no reason not to be at the gym every morning.

Monday dawned sunny and crisp, all sparkly and full of promise. I got out my gym clothes, set them on the bed, and turned on the laptop so I could check Twitter and announce my intent to anyone who cared to read it. Then I started to read the announcements of others. Next thing I knew it was almost noon, and I still hadn’t even put the workout clothes on, much less made it out the door to the gym. Epic fail. Ok, ok. Shake it off. Tomorrow is another day.

Yeah.

I didn’t even get the workout clothes out of the closet today. What’s worse? I started this blog post on Monday and goofed around all day and didn’t even get it finished and posted on time.
So, what’s the plan of action now? Where do I go from here? Hmm…good questions, now let’s hope I have equally good answers.

Plan of action: I have to take M to school Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. That means I have to get up, put on clothes, and leave the house before 8 a.m. every morning for the next three days. What better way to get back into the gym habit?

Where do I go from here? Usually, the answer to this question is up, but today I’m going to say down. My ten year wedding anniversary is this year, September 23rd to be exact, and I would really like to be the size I was when R and I got married. As you may remember from a previous post, I wasn’t skinny when we were married, but I was definitely smaller then than I am now. That’s a little more than eight months from now. I think I can do it. Who knows, I might even surpass that goal, and be even smaller. Maybe I could even fit back into the outfit I wore on our first date (yes, sadly, I still have that outfit packed away in my “It Will Fit Again Someday” bin.) I fear it will be wildly age inappropriate, but it would be so much fun to wear it again, just because I could.

So in remembrance of another post from the past, I will see this not as the failure it felt like, but instead as merely the temporary setback that it truly is.

Until next time…

Ages

It has been so long since I last posted on either of my blogs, that I feel compelled to do a simultaneous post to let you all know that I have not forgotten about you. My life has taken a few turns since August, and I have been preoccupied with my immediate surroundings, and have neglected to make the time for my loyal followers (all three of you) out in the cyber world.

Makaya has started school (more on her first day of school in another post), and with that comes more work and responsibility than I had first imagined. I am still unemployed, but have taken advantage of that to work more on my writing, and after some very favorable feedback on one of my children’s stories, feel I am ready to tackle that query letter and really put myself out there. I have joined a new writers group that meets twice a month, which helps keep my motivation and courage up since I don’t have to go so long between meetings. Through this group, I have met several wonderful people who are excellent writers, and I'm hoping some of their talent will rub off on me. I haven’t been to the gym as often as I would like, and have to find the time and motivation to get back in there and make my goal of a slimmer, healthier me a reality.

That is all I have time for at this moment, but I will hopefully have more very soon.

Until next time...

C'est la vie...

For The Fifth Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...

…A cor-a-naaaa-rieeeee…

For my fifth and final week with Angel, she gave me a rather intense cardio workout that she did (of course) without breaking a sweat, or breathing hard, but that totally…Kicked. My. Ass.

Treadmill---Speed 3.0 / 2 min 0% Incline / 2 min 3% Incline / 1 min 6% Incline
AMT---2 min Resistance Level 8 / 2 min RL 12 / 1 min RL 16

Do a power set of three.

Ah, the AMT machine…Apparently, AMT stands for Automated Mechanical Torture. This device is designed to mimic running without the damage to your joints, and it can mimic a never-ending staircase. The longer you make your stride, the easier it is to keep going (and the more muscles you use too.)

Over all, this has been a very positive experience, and I will not hesitate to do it again when I hit my next plateau. Yes, that is a “when” not an “if”. In the land of physical fitness and exercise, roadblocks and plateaus are inevitable, but you can’t let them get you down. You just have to find a different way to get where you want to go.

My nutrition coaching was just as beneficial (if not more so) as the five new routines. There were things I was eating, and thinking they were healthy, only to find out that they were putting my fat consumption, or calorie consumption through the roof. I changed my habits, started eating 5-6 smaller meals and snacks instead of three large meals each day (this was the hardest change to make). I cut back, but did not eliminate, junkie snack foods. I found alternate foods to satisfy sweet or salty cravings, I can’t say enough about the Mr. Salty chocolate covered pretzels 100 calorie packs.

When it was all said and done, I walked away from the table 10 pounds lighter, and much smarter about both nutrition and fitness.

Next time, an exploration of why you get “stuck” and don’t have any visible progress for days, weeks, or even *shudder* months at a time.

Until then….

The Backwards Slope Is Slippery Indeed

When you are trying to loose weight, especially when you have tried more than once with minimal success, failure is always looming just over your shoulder; lurking like a deformed, and most likely demented ghoul. It taunts and torments you with all those horrible memories of every time you have failed in the past. Reminding you of how you lost 15 pounds only to gain 20. How you were so conscientious of every morsel of food that passed your lips, every calorie healthy and counted, only to have a total breakdown that resulted in an entire box of chocolates, an entire frozen pizza (at least you cooked it), a two-liter jug of soda, and three packs of 100 calorie chocolate covered pretzels all gone in one sitting (technically, the chocolates were while standing—waiting for the pizza to bake—and since you were standing, you were exercising, so it’s not as bad). Sugar coat it and twist it any way you want, it still washes out the same…F-A-I-L-U-R-E. That’s how you regain the lost 15 pounds plus another five (or ten), but I learned something important last month when I was on this journey of fitness and nutrition. It’s not a failure, it’s not a total loss. It’s a setback sure, but it’s not the end of the road. These things will happen, that’s a given, but you can’t let it dictate where you go next. You can’t just give up, throw in the towel, roll over and die, crawl back into those stretched out threadbare yoga pants that you used to live in because nothing else fit, and the stretchy knit fabric was so forgiving. You have to shake it off, lace up your trainers, and get back on the treadmill. Yes, you do. I don’t care if you whine (though the other folks at the gym may give you funny looks and a wide birth) as long as you get out there and move forward. You can look back if you want, but do it with defiance, not longing for those pants (which you really should burn by the way), and make sure and give failure the finger while you’re at it.

Moral of the story: Failure deserves to get the finger. Hmmm…let me try to rephrase that. Don’t let Failure pull you backward when you stumble up the hill. Stop, catch your breath, get your feet under you, and keep going (and shoot Failure the bird, it will make you feel better).

Until next time…

For The Fourth Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...

...Another full body workout—yippee! Hey, wait a minute...the Ab-X is on here again? Twenty-five!?!? Seriously? Twenty-five reps on the Ab-X? What the hell?

Yes, sadly, week four saw the return of the Ab-X (also known as torture device extraordinaire). This week, Angel gave me another full-body workout:

Warm-Up 10 min

Squat to Overhead Press 12# 15 reps
Curtsy Squats 12# 15 reps

Cable Curls 20# 15 reps
Cable Tricep Pressdowns 40# 15 reps

Incline Chest Press 30# 15 reps
Dorsi Flexor 60# 15 reps

Ab-X 25 reps
Oblique Extensions 15 each side

Do three power sets.

This workout is one of my favorites despite having the Ab-X in there. I love the oblique extensions. I’ve often found myself not concentrating on my counting, and gone way past fifteen. I think my highest was somewhere around thirty. The squat to overhead press is a little tough by the third set, but I know from experience that soon enough it will get easier, and soon I’ll need to increase the weight to feel the effect of the exercise on my muscles.

In my next entry, my final workout with Angel, and the results of my nutrition coaching.

Until next time....

For The Third Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...

...A workout that is very easy.

By the third week of training sessions, Angel and I had started to bond a little (meaning I am less intimidated by her, and she realized I'm serious about this and not looking to waste my money). Therefore, when she said we were doing a lake walk for our workout I was excited to get the chance to talk to her a little.

The gym sits on the edge of a man-made lake (just about the only kind they have out here in Iowa—calm down, I know there are a few real lakes in far Northern Iowa, but here in Des Moines, they are all glorified ponds) that has a trail circling it that measures 1.22 miles. It’s part of a larger trail system that I have yet to explore. For my work out this week, Angel had me do the following:

Lake Walk

Wall Push-Ups 15 reps
Step-Ups 15 reps each side
Power set of two.

Lake Walk opposite direction

That’s it. The most painful part of this workout was the sunburn after the second day because I'm a dork and forgot to put on sunscreen. By the third day I was too burnt to go outside in the sun for any amount of time, so I did one of the other workouts inside.

This workout is great if you’re not feeling too good, or if you just don’t want anything too taxing that day. It’s also nice to just get outside and have a change of pace now and then too. Remember, this is my job, so I look at the same faces, and the same scenery every day just like you folks (only difference is, you’re making money, and I'm spending it).

Moral of this workout: It doesn’t always have to hurt. You don’t have to torture yourself every time you walk into the gym. You have permission to take it easy occasionally. Just don’t make a habit of it, or your results will suffer.

Until next time...

For The Second Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...

...A world of pain, oh, woe is me...

But seriously, my second workout wasn’t that bad...or so I thought.

For my second workout, Angel (yes, I'm aware of the irony that my trainer’s name is Angel, but she tortures me like she’s straight out of the depths of hell) gave me what I thought was a fairly easy workout:

Warm Up 10 min

Step Ups 10# 15 reps each side
Side Squats ½ lane and back (approx 20 each way)
Wall Push-Ups 15 reps

Curtsey Squats 8# 15 reps each side
Free Motion Flys 15# 15 reps
Bent Over Rows 12# 15 reps

Do three power sets.

Seems easy enough right? That's what I thought too, but boy was I
W-R-O-N-G. I was fine all day, I had lots of energy, and I was feeling great. The next morning...

I could barely move. It hurt to stretch my legs, and it hurt to bend them. It hurt to sit down, and it hurt to stand up. It hurt to walk, and it hurt to stand still.

I have to walk up about 25 steps to get from the main floor of the gym to the area with the cardio equipment, weights, and express fitness machines. I swear to you, after staggering in the front doors that morning (barely holding back the tears); I think the staircase actually grew while I watched from the bottom step. It may have taken me ten minutes to get up those steps, but eventually I made it. I did that workout again, and when I woke up on the third day, I was still in pain. Yeah, what the hell? My legs still freaking hurt! I put special rubbing oil on them the night before, and I massaged them until my hands ached, but they were still sore. Nevertheless, I went again, and again on the fourth day. I was still hurting by the weekend, but I had three days to recover before my next meeting with Satin, I mean Angel.

Eventually, my legs quit hurting, and I was like a dopey puppy when I showed up for my next meeting, all memories of the pain of the last week wiped from my memory by the excitement of a new workout to try. I have gone back to that workout since that week, and have not had the same issues. A few days pain was definitely worth the benefit of smaller thighs, and a higher, firmer butt.

So what should you, my dear devoted readers (all two of you), take from this tale of misery and woe? Simple: no pain, no gain. Feel free to whine to anyone who will listen, even wallow in self-pity if that's your thing. However, there is one thing you cannot do. You cannot quit. I didn't quit. I will admit, I thought about burrowing under the covers every morning that week and just staying in bed all day, but what would that have accomplished? My legs would have still hurt, and there is no way I would have been able to fit back into my pre-baby jeans a few weeks later if I didn’t make myself get up and face the dragon. Every. Single. Morning.

Until next time...