It has been so long since I last posted on either of my blogs, that I feel compelled to do a simultaneous post to let you all know that I have not forgotten about you. My life has taken a few turns since August, and I have been preoccupied with my immediate surroundings, and have neglected to make the time for my loyal followers (all three of you) out in the cyber world.
Makaya has started school (more on her first day of school in another post), and with that comes more work and responsibility than I had first imagined. I am still unemployed, but have taken advantage of that to work more on my writing, and after some very favorable feedback on one of my children’s stories, feel I am ready to tackle that query letter and really put myself out there. I have joined a new writers group that meets twice a month, which helps keep my motivation and courage up since I don’t have to go so long between meetings. Through this group, I have met several wonderful people who are excellent writers, and I'm hoping some of their talent will rub off on me. I haven’t been to the gym as often as I would like, and have to find the time and motivation to get back in there and make my goal of a slimmer, healthier me a reality.
That is all I have time for at this moment, but I will hopefully have more very soon.
Until next time...
C'est la vie...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
For The Fifth Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...
…A cor-a-naaaa-rieeeee…
For my fifth and final week with Angel, she gave me a rather intense cardio workout that she did (of course) without breaking a sweat, or breathing hard, but that totally…Kicked. My. Ass.
Ah, the AMT machine…Apparently, AMT stands for Automated Mechanical Torture. This device is designed to mimic running without the damage to your joints, and it can mimic a never-ending staircase. The longer you make your stride, the easier it is to keep going (and the more muscles you use too.)
Over all, this has been a very positive experience, and I will not hesitate to do it again when I hit my next plateau. Yes, that is a “when” not an “if”. In the land of physical fitness and exercise, roadblocks and plateaus are inevitable, but you can’t let them get you down. You just have to find a different way to get where you want to go.
My nutrition coaching was just as beneficial (if not more so) as the five new routines. There were things I was eating, and thinking they were healthy, only to find out that they were putting my fat consumption, or calorie consumption through the roof. I changed my habits, started eating 5-6 smaller meals and snacks instead of three large meals each day (this was the hardest change to make). I cut back, but did not eliminate, junkie snack foods. I found alternate foods to satisfy sweet or salty cravings, I can’t say enough about the Mr. Salty chocolate covered pretzels 100 calorie packs.
When it was all said and done, I walked away from the table 10 pounds lighter, and much smarter about both nutrition and fitness.
Next time, an exploration of why you get “stuck” and don’t have any visible progress for days, weeks, or even *shudder* months at a time.
Until then….
For my fifth and final week with Angel, she gave me a rather intense cardio workout that she did (of course) without breaking a sweat, or breathing hard, but that totally…Kicked. My. Ass.
Treadmill---Speed 3.0 / 2 min 0% Incline / 2 min 3% Incline / 1 min 6% Incline
AMT---2 min Resistance Level 8 / 2 min RL 12 / 1 min RL 16
Do a power set of three.
Ah, the AMT machine…Apparently, AMT stands for Automated Mechanical Torture. This device is designed to mimic running without the damage to your joints, and it can mimic a never-ending staircase. The longer you make your stride, the easier it is to keep going (and the more muscles you use too.)
Over all, this has been a very positive experience, and I will not hesitate to do it again when I hit my next plateau. Yes, that is a “when” not an “if”. In the land of physical fitness and exercise, roadblocks and plateaus are inevitable, but you can’t let them get you down. You just have to find a different way to get where you want to go.
My nutrition coaching was just as beneficial (if not more so) as the five new routines. There were things I was eating, and thinking they were healthy, only to find out that they were putting my fat consumption, or calorie consumption through the roof. I changed my habits, started eating 5-6 smaller meals and snacks instead of three large meals each day (this was the hardest change to make). I cut back, but did not eliminate, junkie snack foods. I found alternate foods to satisfy sweet or salty cravings, I can’t say enough about the Mr. Salty chocolate covered pretzels 100 calorie packs.
When it was all said and done, I walked away from the table 10 pounds lighter, and much smarter about both nutrition and fitness.
Next time, an exploration of why you get “stuck” and don’t have any visible progress for days, weeks, or even *shudder* months at a time.
Until then….
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The Backwards Slope Is Slippery Indeed
When you are trying to loose weight, especially when you have tried more than once with minimal success, failure is always looming just over your shoulder; lurking like a deformed, and most likely demented ghoul. It taunts and torments you with all those horrible memories of every time you have failed in the past. Reminding you of how you lost 15 pounds only to gain 20. How you were so conscientious of every morsel of food that passed your lips, every calorie healthy and counted, only to have a total breakdown that resulted in an entire box of chocolates, an entire frozen pizza (at least you cooked it), a two-liter jug of soda, and three packs of 100 calorie chocolate covered pretzels all gone in one sitting (technically, the chocolates were while standing—waiting for the pizza to bake—and since you were standing, you were exercising, so it’s not as bad). Sugar coat it and twist it any way you want, it still washes out the same…F-A-I-L-U-R-E. That’s how you regain the lost 15 pounds plus another five (or ten), but I learned something important last month when I was on this journey of fitness and nutrition. It’s not a failure, it’s not a total loss. It’s a setback sure, but it’s not the end of the road. These things will happen, that’s a given, but you can’t let it dictate where you go next. You can’t just give up, throw in the towel, roll over and die, crawl back into those stretched out threadbare yoga pants that you used to live in because nothing else fit, and the stretchy knit fabric was so forgiving. You have to shake it off, lace up your trainers, and get back on the treadmill. Yes, you do. I don’t care if you whine (though the other folks at the gym may give you funny looks and a wide birth) as long as you get out there and move forward. You can look back if you want, but do it with defiance, not longing for those pants (which you really should burn by the way), and make sure and give failure the finger while you’re at it.
Moral of the story: Failure deserves to get the finger. Hmmm…let me try to rephrase that. Don’t let Failure pull you backward when you stumble up the hill. Stop, catch your breath, get your feet under you, and keep going (and shoot Failure the bird, it will make you feel better).
Until next time…
Moral of the story: Failure deserves to get the finger. Hmmm…let me try to rephrase that. Don’t let Failure pull you backward when you stumble up the hill. Stop, catch your breath, get your feet under you, and keep going (and shoot Failure the bird, it will make you feel better).
Until next time…
Friday, July 31, 2009
For The Fourth Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...
...Another full body workout—yippee! Hey, wait a minute...the Ab-X is on here again? Twenty-five!?!? Seriously? Twenty-five reps on the Ab-X? What the hell?
Yes, sadly, week four saw the return of the Ab-X (also known as torture device extraordinaire). This week, Angel gave me another full-body workout:
This workout is one of my favorites despite having the Ab-X in there. I love the oblique extensions. I’ve often found myself not concentrating on my counting, and gone way past fifteen. I think my highest was somewhere around thirty. The squat to overhead press is a little tough by the third set, but I know from experience that soon enough it will get easier, and soon I’ll need to increase the weight to feel the effect of the exercise on my muscles.
In my next entry, my final workout with Angel, and the results of my nutrition coaching.
Until next time....
Yes, sadly, week four saw the return of the Ab-X (also known as torture device extraordinaire). This week, Angel gave me another full-body workout:
Warm-Up 10 min
Squat to Overhead Press 12# 15 reps
Curtsy Squats 12# 15 reps
Cable Curls 20# 15 reps
Cable Tricep Pressdowns 40# 15 reps
Incline Chest Press 30# 15 reps
Dorsi Flexor 60# 15 reps
Ab-X 25 reps
Oblique Extensions 15 each side
Do three power sets.
This workout is one of my favorites despite having the Ab-X in there. I love the oblique extensions. I’ve often found myself not concentrating on my counting, and gone way past fifteen. I think my highest was somewhere around thirty. The squat to overhead press is a little tough by the third set, but I know from experience that soon enough it will get easier, and soon I’ll need to increase the weight to feel the effect of the exercise on my muscles.
In my next entry, my final workout with Angel, and the results of my nutrition coaching.
Until next time....
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
For The Third Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...
...A workout that is very easy.
By the third week of training sessions, Angel and I had started to bond a little (meaning I am less intimidated by her, and she realized I'm serious about this and not looking to waste my money). Therefore, when she said we were doing a lake walk for our workout I was excited to get the chance to talk to her a little.
The gym sits on the edge of a man-made lake (just about the only kind they have out here in Iowa—calm down, I know there are a few real lakes in far Northern Iowa, but here in Des Moines, they are all glorified ponds) that has a trail circling it that measures 1.22 miles. It’s part of a larger trail system that I have yet to explore. For my work out this week, Angel had me do the following:
That’s it. The most painful part of this workout was the sunburn after the second day because I'm a dork and forgot to put on sunscreen. By the third day I was too burnt to go outside in the sun for any amount of time, so I did one of the other workouts inside.
This workout is great if you’re not feeling too good, or if you just don’t want anything too taxing that day. It’s also nice to just get outside and have a change of pace now and then too. Remember, this is my job, so I look at the same faces, and the same scenery every day just like you folks (only difference is, you’re making money, and I'm spending it).
Moral of this workout: It doesn’t always have to hurt. You don’t have to torture yourself every time you walk into the gym. You have permission to take it easy occasionally. Just don’t make a habit of it, or your results will suffer.
Until next time...
By the third week of training sessions, Angel and I had started to bond a little (meaning I am less intimidated by her, and she realized I'm serious about this and not looking to waste my money). Therefore, when she said we were doing a lake walk for our workout I was excited to get the chance to talk to her a little.
The gym sits on the edge of a man-made lake (just about the only kind they have out here in Iowa—calm down, I know there are a few real lakes in far Northern Iowa, but here in Des Moines, they are all glorified ponds) that has a trail circling it that measures 1.22 miles. It’s part of a larger trail system that I have yet to explore. For my work out this week, Angel had me do the following:
Lake Walk
Wall Push-Ups 15 reps
Step-Ups 15 reps each side
Power set of two.
Lake Walk opposite direction
That’s it. The most painful part of this workout was the sunburn after the second day because I'm a dork and forgot to put on sunscreen. By the third day I was too burnt to go outside in the sun for any amount of time, so I did one of the other workouts inside.
This workout is great if you’re not feeling too good, or if you just don’t want anything too taxing that day. It’s also nice to just get outside and have a change of pace now and then too. Remember, this is my job, so I look at the same faces, and the same scenery every day just like you folks (only difference is, you’re making money, and I'm spending it).
Moral of this workout: It doesn’t always have to hurt. You don’t have to torture yourself every time you walk into the gym. You have permission to take it easy occasionally. Just don’t make a habit of it, or your results will suffer.
Until next time...
For The Second Week Of Fitness, My Trainer Gave To Me...
...A world of pain, oh, woe is me...
But seriously, my second workout wasn’t that bad...or so I thought.
For my second workout, Angel (yes, I'm aware of the irony that my trainer’s name is Angel, but she tortures me like she’s straight out of the depths of hell) gave me what I thought was a fairly easy workout:
Seems easy enough right? That's what I thought too, but boy was I
W-R-O-N-G. I was fine all day, I had lots of energy, and I was feeling great. The next morning...
I could barely move. It hurt to stretch my legs, and it hurt to bend them. It hurt to sit down, and it hurt to stand up. It hurt to walk, and it hurt to stand still.
I have to walk up about 25 steps to get from the main floor of the gym to the area with the cardio equipment, weights, and express fitness machines. I swear to you, after staggering in the front doors that morning (barely holding back the tears); I think the staircase actually grew while I watched from the bottom step. It may have taken me ten minutes to get up those steps, but eventually I made it. I did that workout again, and when I woke up on the third day, I was still in pain. Yeah, what the hell? My legs still freaking hurt! I put special rubbing oil on them the night before, and I massaged them until my hands ached, but they were still sore. Nevertheless, I went again, and again on the fourth day. I was still hurting by the weekend, but I had three days to recover before my next meeting with Satin, I mean Angel.
Eventually, my legs quit hurting, and I was like a dopey puppy when I showed up for my next meeting, all memories of the pain of the last week wiped from my memory by the excitement of a new workout to try. I have gone back to that workout since that week, and have not had the same issues. A few days pain was definitely worth the benefit of smaller thighs, and a higher, firmer butt.
So what should you, my dear devoted readers (all two of you), take from this tale of misery and woe? Simple: no pain, no gain. Feel free to whine to anyone who will listen, even wallow in self-pity if that's your thing. However, there is one thing you cannot do. You cannot quit. I didn't quit. I will admit, I thought about burrowing under the covers every morning that week and just staying in bed all day, but what would that have accomplished? My legs would have still hurt, and there is no way I would have been able to fit back into my pre-baby jeans a few weeks later if I didn’t make myself get up and face the dragon. Every. Single. Morning.
Until next time...
But seriously, my second workout wasn’t that bad...or so I thought.
For my second workout, Angel (yes, I'm aware of the irony that my trainer’s name is Angel, but she tortures me like she’s straight out of the depths of hell) gave me what I thought was a fairly easy workout:
Warm Up 10 min
Step Ups 10# 15 reps each side
Side Squats ½ lane and back (approx 20 each way)
Wall Push-Ups 15 reps
Curtsey Squats 8# 15 reps each side
Free Motion Flys 15# 15 reps
Bent Over Rows 12# 15 reps
Do three power sets.
Seems easy enough right? That's what I thought too, but boy was I
W-R-O-N-G. I was fine all day, I had lots of energy, and I was feeling great. The next morning...
I could barely move. It hurt to stretch my legs, and it hurt to bend them. It hurt to sit down, and it hurt to stand up. It hurt to walk, and it hurt to stand still.
I have to walk up about 25 steps to get from the main floor of the gym to the area with the cardio equipment, weights, and express fitness machines. I swear to you, after staggering in the front doors that morning (barely holding back the tears); I think the staircase actually grew while I watched from the bottom step. It may have taken me ten minutes to get up those steps, but eventually I made it. I did that workout again, and when I woke up on the third day, I was still in pain. Yeah, what the hell? My legs still freaking hurt! I put special rubbing oil on them the night before, and I massaged them until my hands ached, but they were still sore. Nevertheless, I went again, and again on the fourth day. I was still hurting by the weekend, but I had three days to recover before my next meeting with Satin, I mean Angel.
Eventually, my legs quit hurting, and I was like a dopey puppy when I showed up for my next meeting, all memories of the pain of the last week wiped from my memory by the excitement of a new workout to try. I have gone back to that workout since that week, and have not had the same issues. A few days pain was definitely worth the benefit of smaller thighs, and a higher, firmer butt.
So what should you, my dear devoted readers (all two of you), take from this tale of misery and woe? Simple: no pain, no gain. Feel free to whine to anyone who will listen, even wallow in self-pity if that's your thing. However, there is one thing you cannot do. You cannot quit. I didn't quit. I will admit, I thought about burrowing under the covers every morning that week and just staying in bed all day, but what would that have accomplished? My legs would have still hurt, and there is no way I would have been able to fit back into my pre-baby jeans a few weeks later if I didn’t make myself get up and face the dragon. Every. Single. Morning.
Until next time...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Back in Business
Now that the dam has burst, and I have posted after such a long absence, I am excited to update you all on what I have been doing since late April.
I was in Pennsylvania for two weeks dealing with my brother’s accident, passing, and final affairs. During that time, I was not working out at the gym, but I also was not eating much either. I fully expected a gain simply because I was not at the gym, but ended up with a two-pound loss. I needed this emotional boost.
Over the next few weeks, I was stuck in a cycle where I just lost and gained the same five pounds repeatedly. I had been doing the same workout for the past two months and was getting sick of it, but I still did not know how to use most of the equipment in the gym much less what exercises would be of benefit to me. For Mother’s Day, I bought myself an extravagant but practical gift (I knew hubby would not mind being relieved of duty), five personal training sessions, and nutrition counseling.
My first week, was not a good one nutritionally. I had bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, fast food for lunch and pizza for dinner, admittedly not my usual, but still not a good week to have to show to your personal trainer. She gave me 1700 calories a day to eat, 2700 to burn, and a few ideas of what would be better to eat that what I had the week before. Then we moved to the gym for the workout...
My first session really was not that bad. She put together a full body workout for me, and we went through it twice to be sure I knew how to do everything. This is what she had me do:
I was in Pennsylvania for two weeks dealing with my brother’s accident, passing, and final affairs. During that time, I was not working out at the gym, but I also was not eating much either. I fully expected a gain simply because I was not at the gym, but ended up with a two-pound loss. I needed this emotional boost.
Over the next few weeks, I was stuck in a cycle where I just lost and gained the same five pounds repeatedly. I had been doing the same workout for the past two months and was getting sick of it, but I still did not know how to use most of the equipment in the gym much less what exercises would be of benefit to me. For Mother’s Day, I bought myself an extravagant but practical gift (I knew hubby would not mind being relieved of duty), five personal training sessions, and nutrition counseling.
My first week, was not a good one nutritionally. I had bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, fast food for lunch and pizza for dinner, admittedly not my usual, but still not a good week to have to show to your personal trainer. She gave me 1700 calories a day to eat, 2700 to burn, and a few ideas of what would be better to eat that what I had the week before. Then we moved to the gym for the workout...
My first session really was not that bad. She put together a full body workout for me, and we went through it twice to be sure I knew how to do everything. This is what she had me do:
Warm Up 10 Min.
Leg Press 75# 15 reps
Vertical Chest Press 60# 15 reps
Vert. Shoulder Press 45# 15 reps
Seated Leg Curl 120# 15 reps
Ab-X 15 reps
Russian Twist 10# 15 reps each side
Alt. Bicep Curl 12# 15 reps each side
Alt. Shoulder Press 12# 15 reps each side
These are done in power sets of three, which means do group one three times, then move to group two and do it three times, etc.
Cardio:
20 min as follows:
On treadmill—Speed 3.5 Incline 3% 2 min. 5% 2 min. 6% 1 min. Repeat 4 times.
Now, I feel the need for a small aside about the piece of equipment called the ‘Ab-X’. If the Ab-X were an algebra equation, X could have several values, for example:
X=Pain
X=Burn
X=What the hell is she trying to do to me?
X=Oh my God, I'm going to die!
Just to list a few.
So, until next time...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Priorities
It has been several weeks since I’ve posted on either of my blogs. A lot has gone down in that time. Easter weekend, my little brother was in a car accident. He suffered a traumatic brain injury that resulted in his death, but his passing was not in vain. His wish was organ donation, and through his gift, others will have a better life.
I’ve had a hard time dealing with this, and have never wished more to be closer to my family. You see, they live in Pennsylvania, and I'm way out here in Iowa. That’s three states. Nineteen hours by train. Twelve hours by car. Five hours by plane. An eternity if someone is hurt.
I haven’t posted about this for “so many reasons”.
Jeopardy is on.
I'm too busy.
It’s too late at night.
Letterman’s on.
Craig has Eric Idle tonight.
Makaya has her dance recital tonight.
Mum’s in town, have to spend as much time with her as I can.
All the while, I was unwilling to face the main reason.
If I don’t talk about it, it never happened. I can push it to the back of my mind, and pretend it was a dream.
Denial.
Pure as fresh snow.
There have been dreams. Nightmares really.
Doubts. Did we make the right choice? Did we act too soon? Should we have given him more time?
Unanswered questions. Did he know what was going on? Did he know we were there? Did he know how much we all love him? Did he suffer at all? Was he scared? Who will care for him? Is there a heaven or hell? Why did it happen to him? Was there someone else involved? Why now when he was so young? What do we say to his girls? Did he know I love him? Did he know how sorry I am?
There are ok days where I only think of him in passing and the loss doesn’t fully register.
There are not so good days where I cry without realizing it, and have to answer my daughter’s concerned questions with vague assurances that “No, Mama’s not hurt sweetie.”
Then there are the bad days. The days where I have to hold my self together, wrapping my arms around my body. I have to squeeze tightly because I'm afraid I will shatter into a thousand tiny shards if I don’t. The days where I sit in bed and rock myself in an effort to soothe an injury that refuses to heal. The days where my heart quite literally aches, each beat a painful reminder of the one that is now forever still.
Those are the reasons why I haven’t posted.
I’ve had a hard time dealing with this, and have never wished more to be closer to my family. You see, they live in Pennsylvania, and I'm way out here in Iowa. That’s three states. Nineteen hours by train. Twelve hours by car. Five hours by plane. An eternity if someone is hurt.
I haven’t posted about this for “so many reasons”.
Jeopardy is on.
I'm too busy.
It’s too late at night.
Letterman’s on.
Craig has Eric Idle tonight.
Makaya has her dance recital tonight.
Mum’s in town, have to spend as much time with her as I can.
All the while, I was unwilling to face the main reason.
If I don’t talk about it, it never happened. I can push it to the back of my mind, and pretend it was a dream.
Denial.
Pure as fresh snow.
There have been dreams. Nightmares really.
Doubts. Did we make the right choice? Did we act too soon? Should we have given him more time?
Unanswered questions. Did he know what was going on? Did he know we were there? Did he know how much we all love him? Did he suffer at all? Was he scared? Who will care for him? Is there a heaven or hell? Why did it happen to him? Was there someone else involved? Why now when he was so young? What do we say to his girls? Did he know I love him? Did he know how sorry I am?
There are ok days where I only think of him in passing and the loss doesn’t fully register.
There are not so good days where I cry without realizing it, and have to answer my daughter’s concerned questions with vague assurances that “No, Mama’s not hurt sweetie.”
Then there are the bad days. The days where I have to hold my self together, wrapping my arms around my body. I have to squeeze tightly because I'm afraid I will shatter into a thousand tiny shards if I don’t. The days where I sit in bed and rock myself in an effort to soothe an injury that refuses to heal. The days where my heart quite literally aches, each beat a painful reminder of the one that is now forever still.
Those are the reasons why I haven’t posted.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Looking Ahead
You may have noticed a lack of activity on here this past week. I've had some trouble with my child care provider, and have not been able to make it to the gym as often as I would like. I was only able to go on Wednesday for 30 minutes.
I have since switched day care providers, and starting tomorrow I'm back on the ball. I only hope that I'm not starting back at square one. I'll admit, I've fallen off the wagon so to speak this past week. We have eaten out, and I've had my fair share of chips (both corn and potato). I'm ready to get back in there and really work hard for what I want. If I can maintain my previous workout schedule, and keep up the weight loss average, I think I could be as much as 50 pounds lighter when Makaya starts school. How fun would that be for both of us to do a little back to school shopping?
So wish me luck and will power (I'll need the latter much more than the former) as I get back on track and return to my quest for a smaller me.
I have since switched day care providers, and starting tomorrow I'm back on the ball. I only hope that I'm not starting back at square one. I'll admit, I've fallen off the wagon so to speak this past week. We have eaten out, and I've had my fair share of chips (both corn and potato). I'm ready to get back in there and really work hard for what I want. If I can maintain my previous workout schedule, and keep up the weight loss average, I think I could be as much as 50 pounds lighter when Makaya starts school. How fun would that be for both of us to do a little back to school shopping?
So wish me luck and will power (I'll need the latter much more than the former) as I get back on track and return to my quest for a smaller me.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Melting Like Butter
Well, here we are on another lovely Sunday, you reading my latest post with salivating anticipation, me spouting wonderful poetic nonsense about my latest workout....OK, so maybe that's a bit of an overstatement. I mean, me, spout poetic nonsense? Ridiculous!!
Alright, alright, enough goofing around. Time to get down to business.
Thus far I have lost 9.8 pounds. Yes, that is correct, 9.8 pounds just since March 2nd. After possibly the worst day on Wednesday (3/25/09), when I went to the gym on Thursday I thought, "Why not weigh yourself and round out the week?" I was fully expecting a gain of at least a pound, possibly two (I'll admit, I did eat upwards of four home-made chocolate chip cookies on Wednesday. I was feeling very much in the crapper, and felt a little self destructive by the time I got home that day.) So you can imagine my surprise when I hopped on the scale and saw a difference of negative 1.2 lbs. Though I did still curse those cookies, I could have been at 10 plus pounds lost, but oh well, another day then...
In other fabulous fitness news, Monday marked a milestone for me. In the whole body workout that I endeavor to do every day, but sometimes fall short of achieving, I was instructed by Angel (the trainer) to do the entire workout three times. Let me tell you, there were days where I struggled to do even one circuit. Most days I could get through it twice, but by the end of that last Double Leg Extension, my body was in full revolt, and every muscle, nerve, and pore was screaming at me, "Stop now! For the love of all that is good and holy, please STOP NOW!!" But on Monday, I just lay there after the 15th DLE in the second circuit and rested for a minute. Then I sat up and did the whole thing again. I was so sweaty that my glasses steamed up a bit, but I didn't care. I felt so good after doing that third and thus far elusive circuit. I can't even begin to describe how awesome I felt.
Since then I have done the full body through three circuits every time, and I have to say, that thrill of accomplishment is still very strong. It may have taken almost a month to get built up to it, but now that I have, there is no going back.
That would appear to be all I had for today, so...
Until next time...
Alright, alright, enough goofing around. Time to get down to business.
Thus far I have lost 9.8 pounds. Yes, that is correct, 9.8 pounds just since March 2nd. After possibly the worst day on Wednesday (3/25/09), when I went to the gym on Thursday I thought, "Why not weigh yourself and round out the week?" I was fully expecting a gain of at least a pound, possibly two (I'll admit, I did eat upwards of four home-made chocolate chip cookies on Wednesday. I was feeling very much in the crapper, and felt a little self destructive by the time I got home that day.) So you can imagine my surprise when I hopped on the scale and saw a difference of negative 1.2 lbs. Though I did still curse those cookies, I could have been at 10 plus pounds lost, but oh well, another day then...
In other fabulous fitness news, Monday marked a milestone for me. In the whole body workout that I endeavor to do every day, but sometimes fall short of achieving, I was instructed by Angel (the trainer) to do the entire workout three times. Let me tell you, there were days where I struggled to do even one circuit. Most days I could get through it twice, but by the end of that last Double Leg Extension, my body was in full revolt, and every muscle, nerve, and pore was screaming at me, "Stop now! For the love of all that is good and holy, please STOP NOW!!" But on Monday, I just lay there after the 15th DLE in the second circuit and rested for a minute. Then I sat up and did the whole thing again. I was so sweaty that my glasses steamed up a bit, but I didn't care. I felt so good after doing that third and thus far elusive circuit. I can't even begin to describe how awesome I felt.
Since then I have done the full body through three circuits every time, and I have to say, that thrill of accomplishment is still very strong. It may have taken almost a month to get built up to it, but now that I have, there is no going back.
That would appear to be all I had for today, so...
Until next time...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Cottage Cheese, Oats and Yogurt, Oh My!!
OK, so it's been too long.
Quick update, I have now lost 8.6 pounds, and I have started a second blog because life was getting in my way and keeping me from posting fun stuff on here. So, on to the fun stuff...
Alright boys and girls, I promised you a post about a weird protein snack perfect for breakfast or right after a workout, so here it is.
First it is important to know that after a workout no matter how stressful, you need to have a high-protein snack within 30 minutes to maximize the benefits of your workout. You need to give your body the material to rebuild the muscles and feed them so your body burns off the fat instead of the muscle you just worked so hard to create. Protein shakes or mixes are one route, but you need to watch the fat and calorie content of these products. Another alternative is a strange mixture I learned about from on of the girls at the gym. I didn't get a recipe, so the following is a ratio that I worked out that tastes pretty good to me, but feel free to change the measurements to suit your taste.
Here's the low down on this strange but yummy protein rich snack.
Mix these all together in a resealable container and let stand (in fridge) for 2 hours to overnight.
I've had it fresh, and once it has had a chance to blend, and I prefer the fresh one to the overnight version. The whole point of letting it set overnight is to allow the liquid from the yogurt and cottage cheese to soften the oats, but I like the crunch of the oats better than the gluey texture of the softened oats. Again, personal preference, please feel free to make your own judgement.
I know, I know, it sounds weird, and maybe a little gross, but it really is good.
Next time...I'm not sure, but I'll think of something between now and then.
Until then....
Quick update, I have now lost 8.6 pounds, and I have started a second blog because life was getting in my way and keeping me from posting fun stuff on here. So, on to the fun stuff...
Alright boys and girls, I promised you a post about a weird protein snack perfect for breakfast or right after a workout, so here it is.
First it is important to know that after a workout no matter how stressful, you need to have a high-protein snack within 30 minutes to maximize the benefits of your workout. You need to give your body the material to rebuild the muscles and feed them so your body burns off the fat instead of the muscle you just worked so hard to create. Protein shakes or mixes are one route, but you need to watch the fat and calorie content of these products. Another alternative is a strange mixture I learned about from on of the girls at the gym. I didn't get a recipe, so the following is a ratio that I worked out that tastes pretty good to me, but feel free to change the measurements to suit your taste.
Here's the low down on this strange but yummy protein rich snack.
- 1 cup cottage cheese
- 1 container (4-6 oz) yogurt any flavor (though you may want to avoid anything with seeds)
- 1/3 cup uncooked, instant oats
Mix these all together in a resealable container and let stand (in fridge) for 2 hours to overnight.
I've had it fresh, and once it has had a chance to blend, and I prefer the fresh one to the overnight version. The whole point of letting it set overnight is to allow the liquid from the yogurt and cottage cheese to soften the oats, but I like the crunch of the oats better than the gluey texture of the softened oats. Again, personal preference, please feel free to make your own judgement.
I know, I know, it sounds weird, and maybe a little gross, but it really is good.
Next time...I'm not sure, but I'll think of something between now and then.
Until then....
Monday, March 9, 2009
Treadmill Games
I started to mess with the incline. When you increase the incline, you burn more calories, and I am shamelessly addicted to watching that calorie counter climb. The first day I was able to hang on at about 2.5% for about 30 minutes. When I came back the next day I thought, “I can do better,” and I did. Day 2: 3.0% for an hour, and 500 calories were gone just like that. Day 3: I was on a tight time budget, and in 20 minutes, I did a little over a mile, but left about 250 calories on that treadmill. Today I set a new record for myself. I went for an hour at 6.0% on 3.0, and stepped off that beast having burned 650 calories. In one hour I burned off breakfast, the protein snack I was about to have and the cheese stick I would have later before dinner.
I also have a little fun altering my stride depending on the song. For example: “Rock Your Body” has a strong base line that is consistent with the exception of a few back beats that actually add a nice dimension to the game. Yes, I think of it as a game. I walk to the beat of the song, and add the few quick steps on the backbeat when it comes up. I can feel this working my muscles differently, and it forces me to take longer strides.
Another game is The Bicep Builder. With a good incline going, I lean back just a bit, and hold the position while I walk, or pull myself forward ever so slightly. It takes about 10 minutes before I start to feel it working. This is a way to work a little arm action in since the treadmill doesn’t have the “ski poles” that the elliptical does.
Next time... a high protein snack that sounds weird, tastes weirder, and why you want it after a work out.
Until then.......
I also have a little fun altering my stride depending on the song. For example: “Rock Your Body” has a strong base line that is consistent with the exception of a few back beats that actually add a nice dimension to the game. Yes, I think of it as a game. I walk to the beat of the song, and add the few quick steps on the backbeat when it comes up. I can feel this working my muscles differently, and it forces me to take longer strides.
Another game is The Bicep Builder. With a good incline going, I lean back just a bit, and hold the position while I walk, or pull myself forward ever so slightly. It takes about 10 minutes before I start to feel it working. This is a way to work a little arm action in since the treadmill doesn’t have the “ski poles” that the elliptical does.
Next time... a high protein snack that sounds weird, tastes weirder, and why you want it after a work out.
Until then.......
The Treadmill Has The Power To Drive You Insane
OK, so I was going to write about the "Full Body Workout,” specifically the Double Leg Extensions, and just how much I truly hate them, but you know what? Yeah, they totally suck and hurt like a mother, but every day they hurt a little less, and every day I can put my legs down a little lower. The best part though, is today, when I was done, I just sat up. Up until today, I had to pretty much roll off the bench, while trying not to draw attention to myself, and struggle back to a sitting position on the bench while my lungs, abs, and thighs burned and screamed at me. That alone was more of a workout than the whole rest of my routine.
So instead, I'm going to wax poetic about the treadmill, which is basically mind numbing and painfully boring. That is, unless you know its secrets...
When I started this whole fitness thing, I had only ever used the treadmill one-way: flat and as fast as I could go for as long as I could stand it. This time, it only took one day before I started to get bored. Not just ho-hum bored, but oh-my-fucking-god-just-shoot-me-in-the-head-and-throw-me-into-the-lake bored, and that, as everyone knows, is the kiss of death for motivation to work out. If you’re bored, you’re not coming back.
What can you do to make walking on a black rubber belt for two hours fun? Sure, I have my music going, but after a while, it just becomes audio Novocain. It makes it easy to ignore the protests from your muscles and allows you to push through your time and get to the shower, but how long can you really keep that up? A few days? Maybe a week or two? Not good enough! Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain relaxing Zen-like quality to staring at the ducks on the pond while your body automatically puts one foot in front of the other, your brain just clicks off, and your vision goes slightly fuzzy, but I want more.
So instead, I'm going to wax poetic about the treadmill, which is basically mind numbing and painfully boring. That is, unless you know its secrets...
When I started this whole fitness thing, I had only ever used the treadmill one-way: flat and as fast as I could go for as long as I could stand it. This time, it only took one day before I started to get bored. Not just ho-hum bored, but oh-my-fucking-god-just-shoot-me-in-the-head-and-throw-me-into-the-lake bored, and that, as everyone knows, is the kiss of death for motivation to work out. If you’re bored, you’re not coming back.
What can you do to make walking on a black rubber belt for two hours fun? Sure, I have my music going, but after a while, it just becomes audio Novocain. It makes it easy to ignore the protests from your muscles and allows you to push through your time and get to the shower, but how long can you really keep that up? A few days? Maybe a week or two? Not good enough! Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain relaxing Zen-like quality to staring at the ducks on the pond while your body automatically puts one foot in front of the other, your brain just clicks off, and your vision goes slightly fuzzy, but I want more.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Right Foot
So that’s what I did. On Monday, I joined a gym. It’s not the first time, but hopefully the result will be a little different this time. Since Monday, I have gone every day but Wednesday, and have already lost 2.2 pounds. I can’t begin to tell you how good it feels to say that. I’ve told everyone.
In my next post...The “Full Body Workout”
Yes, I have seen the ninth ring of hell, and let me tell you, it has nothing on the Double Leg Extension.
Until next time......
In my next post...The “Full Body Workout”
Yes, I have seen the ninth ring of hell, and let me tell you, it has nothing on the Double Leg Extension.
Until next time......
Moving On
In September, it will have been seven years since I lost the baby. Since then, we have had a beautiful, mouthy, smart little girl, who keeps me on my toes, and can usually make me smile (sometimes when I'm trying to put her in time out and be mean. It takes all the wind out of your sails when you’re laughing as you set her in time out). I'm not going to lie, there was a lot of fear and anxiety when that second line showed up on that test, but things went well up until the last day. It pretty much went to shit when it came time to deliver, but that’s a story for another day and another blog.
She sometimes says to me, “Mama, do you want to be skinny?” What can I say to that? If I say no she asks why, if I say yes, she recites the line from the Relacore ad “You can lose belly fat!” There’s only one way to win. Go to the gym, work out, and get skinny. Ok, maybe that’s technically three, but the over all goal is singular: Don’t be fat.
She sometimes says to me, “Mama, do you want to be skinny?” What can I say to that? If I say no she asks why, if I say yes, she recites the line from the Relacore ad “You can lose belly fat!” There’s only one way to win. Go to the gym, work out, and get skinny. Ok, maybe that’s technically three, but the over all goal is singular: Don’t be fat.
No Longer Valid
I lost the baby. He was about 12 weeks when it happened. We went in for an ultrasound for dating purposes. The tech was very quiet, and wouldn’t answer any of our questions. When she was done, we were shown to an exam room where the doctor came in, announced, “Your pregnancy is no longer valid,” and walked out of the room. Just like that. Bam. No longer valid. Like your password expired, or you put in the wrong PIN at the ATM.
Well, shit. There it was again. My old friend failure. We had been reacquainted nicely a few months ago, and it seemed he wasn’t quite ready to leave yet. I failed at being a good wife; I failed at being a mother at all. I could feel the fat bubble getting thicker in hopes of better protecting me from the rest of the world. After a while, it started to work.
Well, shit. There it was again. My old friend failure. We had been reacquainted nicely a few months ago, and it seemed he wasn’t quite ready to leave yet. I failed at being a good wife; I failed at being a mother at all. I could feel the fat bubble getting thicker in hopes of better protecting me from the rest of the world. After a while, it started to work.
Fat Wife
So, during the course of that week long fight where we came very close to divorce, I was let in on a little secret that my husband had been keeping all these many years. He didn’t find me attractive anymore because I was fat. At this point, I was a size 16 or 18. Bigger than when we first met, but the same as the day he asked me to marry him. I was confused, and not a little hurt and upset by this revelation. I mean, why would you ask some one you’re not attracted to physically to marry you and spend the rest of their life with you? When I posed this exact question, his answer made even less sense, and just seemed to further illustrate the differences between men and women. He told me he still loved me, and that he would love me at 140 or 440, but that he just wasn’t attracted to me. He then went on to apologize for being so shallow, “but that’s just the way I am.” Huh?
It’s been six years since that fight. It is a rare day that goes by where I don’t think about it. That was a bad summer. We each revealed a major secret to the other, and with it came the loss of bliss by way of ignorance. Then, near the end of summer, we had another loss. About two months after that fight, I got pregnant. I know, he doesn’t find me attractive, but he can bring himself to make a baby with me. I don’t understand either. Didn’t then, and still don’t now, nor do I want to, I have a feeling it would hurt too much, and I am still feeling the sting from the last time I was educated. That was a hard time for me. I had felt like a failure for so long after that fight. Here all along I thought I had found a great guy. Kind of like the guy in the Rikki Lake movie “Baby Cakes”, but no. The baby gave me hope that maybe things would work out after all. That maybe we could get past it all and focus on a new life.
It’s been six years since that fight. It is a rare day that goes by where I don’t think about it. That was a bad summer. We each revealed a major secret to the other, and with it came the loss of bliss by way of ignorance. Then, near the end of summer, we had another loss. About two months after that fight, I got pregnant. I know, he doesn’t find me attractive, but he can bring himself to make a baby with me. I don’t understand either. Didn’t then, and still don’t now, nor do I want to, I have a feeling it would hurt too much, and I am still feeling the sting from the last time I was educated. That was a hard time for me. I had felt like a failure for so long after that fight. Here all along I thought I had found a great guy. Kind of like the guy in the Rikki Lake movie “Baby Cakes”, but no. The baby gave me hope that maybe things would work out after all. That maybe we could get past it all and focus on a new life.
Fat Bubble
Being fat your whole life kind of puts you in a bubble. It hides you from the world in a way. Sure, there are the people who stare, the ones who make comments to their friends as if just because you're fat you can't hear them, or it doesn't matter if you hear because fat people don't have feelings. But, there are also the people out there who just look right through you as if you don't even exist. That pretty much sums up my experience with males. Oh sure, they would acknowledge my presence enough to work with me, and in high school and college I had some guy friends, but as the saying goes: "Like seeks like". In other words, they were fat and lonely too. But man, go from a size 20 to a size 12, and it's like someone turned on the light inside the room with the one way mirror. I had guys talking to me outside of work, and they weren't asking for my crème brulee recipe.
I finally agreed to a date with a guy I knew from work. I figured it was safe enough. The guy who always bought me my booze was worried I would end up dead if I went out on a date with a stranger. I think his exact words were "Tits up under a truck.” It must be an Iowa thing, because that was the one and only time I ever heard that phrase. So, at the tender age of 20, I had my first date. I'll spare you the details, and cut to the chase. He thought buying me a drink earned him certain privileges, and had apparently never heard the phrase "No means no". I didn't date again for a long time, but man did I hit the bottle. Chris used to get me stuff about once every other week. Now I was up to a bottle every two days. He was concerned, and said as much, but at that point, I didn't care. I had stopped eating all together, and was taking so many diet pills that even with the alcohol I was still up half the night. Eventually, I met someone I felt I could trust (mostly because he never even tried to hold my hand with out permission). He understood what I meant when I said I was waiting for marriage. It wasn't until our first major fight (ironically about my weight) in the third year of our marriage that I even told him what happened. To this day, there are only three people, including myself, who know the truth about that night.
I finally agreed to a date with a guy I knew from work. I figured it was safe enough. The guy who always bought me my booze was worried I would end up dead if I went out on a date with a stranger. I think his exact words were "Tits up under a truck.” It must be an Iowa thing, because that was the one and only time I ever heard that phrase. So, at the tender age of 20, I had my first date. I'll spare you the details, and cut to the chase. He thought buying me a drink earned him certain privileges, and had apparently never heard the phrase "No means no". I didn't date again for a long time, but man did I hit the bottle. Chris used to get me stuff about once every other week. Now I was up to a bottle every two days. He was concerned, and said as much, but at that point, I didn't care. I had stopped eating all together, and was taking so many diet pills that even with the alcohol I was still up half the night. Eventually, I met someone I felt I could trust (mostly because he never even tried to hold my hand with out permission). He understood what I meant when I said I was waiting for marriage. It wasn't until our first major fight (ironically about my weight) in the third year of our marriage that I even told him what happened. To this day, there are only three people, including myself, who know the truth about that night.
Food Is Where I Belong
The same bullies followed me to high school, naturally, and had the same lunch period as me, naturally. So after about a month, I discovered that bullies didn't really read much, and there for I was safe in the library. The year passed, and when I discovered that gym class was co-ed in 10th, 11th, and 12th grade as well, I did what any clumsy, over weight, uncoordinated, non-athletic, self-conscious teen does: I panicked. After the black faded back to the edges of my vision, and my breathing slowed from hyperventilation to normal again, I came up with a plan. If I went to the tech school, then I wouldn't have to take gym. Unfortunately, that meant that I got no other electives either, but that was a trade I was willing to make. What class did I take at the tech school you ask, why cooking of course! What other class would a fatty take? Health care or nursing? Would you listen to a fat nurse who told you that you needed to loose weight? Child Care? Fatties can't keep up with active little kids. Auto shop of any kind? Uh, no. Not because I was fat, just because I don't like to be dirty. I went through all the options, and decided that food and I were destined to be together. Besides, I figured I could eat everything I made, and I might learn how to make something better than those ice cream candy bars. Psh, like that was possible...
Commercial Foods (no fancy names like "Culinary Arts" at Erie Co. VoTech) lead to a job at a local restaurant where my family ate at least once a week. Which then lead to a college level Culinary Arts program at a state school. I was still fat, but here I was among friends. I mean really, would you trust a skinny chef? Didn't think so. How can you be sure their cooking is any good? It must not be if they won't even eat it.
I did lose some weight in college, but only maybe 20 pounds or so. My first (and only) big weight loss came about three months after I moved away from home to start my life as a successful chef. I was very lonely, and depressed, but for once, I didn't reach for food. I did something better. I got drunk. A lot. Every night. I spent all my money on diet pills, flavored water, and booze. I was still under age, so one of the guys I worked with would buy it for me. During the day I would drink zero-calorie flavored water, take six or sometimes eight diet pills, and while I was prepping salads for dinner service, I would allow myself four cucumber slices. I lost somewhere between 60 and 80 pounds in less than four months. This had some negative repercussions.
Commercial Foods (no fancy names like "Culinary Arts" at Erie Co. VoTech) lead to a job at a local restaurant where my family ate at least once a week. Which then lead to a college level Culinary Arts program at a state school. I was still fat, but here I was among friends. I mean really, would you trust a skinny chef? Didn't think so. How can you be sure their cooking is any good? It must not be if they won't even eat it.
I did lose some weight in college, but only maybe 20 pounds or so. My first (and only) big weight loss came about three months after I moved away from home to start my life as a successful chef. I was very lonely, and depressed, but for once, I didn't reach for food. I did something better. I got drunk. A lot. Every night. I spent all my money on diet pills, flavored water, and booze. I was still under age, so one of the guys I worked with would buy it for me. During the day I would drink zero-calorie flavored water, take six or sometimes eight diet pills, and while I was prepping salads for dinner service, I would allow myself four cucumber slices. I lost somewhere between 60 and 80 pounds in less than four months. This had some negative repercussions.
Co-Ed Swimming
I was sad on the last day of middle school. I knew the high school I was going to was too far away to ride my bike, and that meant the bus. Luckily, the routes were different, and I found safety with other fatties and assorted nerds and freaks at the front of the bus. My relief was short lived however, when I found out that the rumors of gym class being a co-ed swimming class were not rumors, but in fact, the horrifying truth. Yeah, no joke there. As if freshman year wasn't bad enough what with being 13, awkward, and embarrassed about everything, but put all 180 pounds of me in a swim suit and force me to stand in line with skinny girls and boys who never really showed interest before, but were guaranteed to never show it now, and you get: the Worst. Year. EVER.
In The Beginning....
In the beginning, there was me, and I was fat, but it was OK, because I was a baby. Then I got older....
I was skinny as a kid. I didn't start to chunk out till puberty, but when the hormones kicked in, whoo buddy...I got big. Not just kind of pudgy big, no we're talkin' had to shop at Layne Bryant at 14 big. I came by it naturally, my Mum is big (she's fought it all her life), my Dad is moderately big, both sets of grandparents were big (though Mum's Mum really is just kind of soft, you know the way a grandma is supposed to be). One aunt is big, but the other is skinny (both are on Mum's side, but Darla was always a little strange, so I'm not truly convinced that she really belongs to us....).
When I was younger, I did all the diets with Mum, Weight Watchers, low-fat this, no sugar that, and cheated the whole time. I was constantly sneaking the things she would buy for the boys. Ice cream, two bowls a day; fudgecicles or pudding pops, four at a time; any time I was given money (birthdays, Christmas, random trip to Grandma's house) I would buy chocolate bars, Milky Way and Three Musketeers were my usual, but then I discovered the ultimate...ice cream candy bars. Vanilla ice cream where the nougat was in a regular candy bar. I still remember the first time I saw one....
I was riding my bike to school, because I couldn't stand the torment that went along with riding the bus, and every morning I would stop at the Country Fair on the corner for a soda (yeah, a soda at 6:30 in the morning, it's no wonder I was fat). One morning there was a new cooler by the register, so I looked inside. Ice cream Snickers and Milky Way. The picture on the package had caramel softly oozing between the peanuts and over the ice cream. Of course, I bought one. It was soooo good. The next day and every day after that I bought two. Some days I bought three, but only if it was cold. They would melt too fast if it was warm.
I was skinny as a kid. I didn't start to chunk out till puberty, but when the hormones kicked in, whoo buddy...I got big. Not just kind of pudgy big, no we're talkin' had to shop at Layne Bryant at 14 big. I came by it naturally, my Mum is big (she's fought it all her life), my Dad is moderately big, both sets of grandparents were big (though Mum's Mum really is just kind of soft, you know the way a grandma is supposed to be). One aunt is big, but the other is skinny (both are on Mum's side, but Darla was always a little strange, so I'm not truly convinced that she really belongs to us....).
When I was younger, I did all the diets with Mum, Weight Watchers, low-fat this, no sugar that, and cheated the whole time. I was constantly sneaking the things she would buy for the boys. Ice cream, two bowls a day; fudgecicles or pudding pops, four at a time; any time I was given money (birthdays, Christmas, random trip to Grandma's house) I would buy chocolate bars, Milky Way and Three Musketeers were my usual, but then I discovered the ultimate...ice cream candy bars. Vanilla ice cream where the nougat was in a regular candy bar. I still remember the first time I saw one....
I was riding my bike to school, because I couldn't stand the torment that went along with riding the bus, and every morning I would stop at the Country Fair on the corner for a soda (yeah, a soda at 6:30 in the morning, it's no wonder I was fat). One morning there was a new cooler by the register, so I looked inside. Ice cream Snickers and Milky Way. The picture on the package had caramel softly oozing between the peanuts and over the ice cream. Of course, I bought one. It was soooo good. The next day and every day after that I bought two. Some days I bought three, but only if it was cold. They would melt too fast if it was warm.
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